


Extortion; an Inelegant Word

by pengiesama



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Black Comedy, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-04
Updated: 2013-10-04
Packaged: 2017-12-28 08:48:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/990070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pengiesama/pseuds/pengiesama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin's new associate was in possession of such a surpassing and surprising wealth of information on the elite. (How to pay the bills and fund an army with blackmail, without really trying.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Extortion; an Inelegant Word

The senator gave Erwin and his new associate a once-over, and sniffed.

“Still dredging the gutters for recruits, Smith?” he chided. His wife tittered behind her fan.

Erwin gave a magnanimous smile, and opened his mouth to speak.

“Still going down to district six on the weekends to pay hookers to piss on you, Senator?” Levi drawled.

The senator blanched, his eyes bulging. The tittering ceased.

Ah. His new associate was in possession of such a surpassing and surprising wealth of information on the elite. A bit of discretion would have to be impressed, but for now, Erwin would simply have to seek elsewhere for senate sponsorship.

“Shit, and that asshole was pretty tame. I could start naming off the kiddy-fuckers, if you want,” Levi said as Erwin escorted him away.

Bringing up the knowledge in the company of select individuals certainly would secure a few sponsorship routes, Erwin granted. At the moment, however, Erwin simply felt a great urge to impress discretion on Levi against a wall in the coatroom.

-

The annual military ball was normally a sedate affair; a gathering of the higher-ups to discuss strategy and the year’s accomplishments. It was normally a time for Erwin to showcase the Scouting Legion’s meager findings, and beg and scrape for scraps left over from the Military Police’s funding budget.

This year, however, was a bit of a change. Their newest recruit had such a vast and profound knowledge of the hidden financial and sexual deviancies of the moneyed and privileged, and it seemed a shame to not put it to good use.

“You know, underhandedly diverting food shipments to your own personal pantry is one thing when there’s refugees starving on your fucking doorstep, but I doubt you’re much use in protecting His Royal Majesty when your man-tits are flapping out of your harness.”

Erwin watched as Levi inspected the check that the man handed to him, watched as he sneered and handed it back, telling him to add a few zeroes, “before we even get into the fucking diaper fetish thing, you literal walking sack of shit”. And thus did the Scouting Legion now have the funds for three new fleets of horses, and thus did Erwin have the urge to thank Levi the moment they returned to their quarters by grabbing him by the hair and –

“Whoo! Mama’s got a brand new set of lab toys!”

Hanji shimmied up to Erwin, off-beat to the somber chamber music floating through the halls, with dozens of checks stuffed under her goggles’ straps. Erwin plucked a few for the general pool – new boots, and gas for half a year. Although extortion did not come as a natural talent to all their members, Hanji had been only too quick to volunteer her assistance when guaranteed a cut of the profits for her research. Erwin could only ask that she budget wisely, and not stockpile gunpowder and candle wicks like last time –

Well. What was _this_ , now. The Military Police member that spoke to Levi now had been an alum of Erwin’s own training corps, and was quite high in their ranks indeed. The man chuckled and stuffed a check under Levi’s belt, and left without another word to him. Levi seemed to sense Erwin’s gaze; Erwin rose an eyebrow, questioning, when their eyes met. Levi’s mouth drew into a challenging smirk.

_Knew that one personally_ , he mouthed across the room.

Ah. Erwin nodded thoughtfully, turning the exact meaning behind that smirk over in his head.

His new associate was definitely getting hauled down to his knees by the hair tonight.


End file.
